Posted by Anishka Culmer on

I came across this article in Cosmo by Jennifer Benjamin, who states that there are things your man might crave in the bedroom that he might not be up front with you about. I thought his points were quite interesting.  Here they are.

Women, as you know, need time to get revved up. Although your guy may be more than willing to pull out all the stops to get you hot, he wouldn't mind if you gave yourself a running start. "A number of women still believe that it's solely a man's job to arouse them," says Georgia sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "To have a really fulfilling sexual experience though, you have to put some effort into getting yourself into a sexual state of mind."

Maybe put on some sexy music that turns you on, think about a hot encounter you had with him some time back, or even imagine some of the things you want him to do to you....then tell him.

Unfortunately, real-life romps aren't as seamless as they are in the movies. Things don't always go smoothly during sex — some positions don't work, and odd noises happen. If you get hung up on a mishap, it will ruin the mood. But if you can both laugh, it becomes a light bonding moment.

Frisky fun is about more than damage control though. Make a silly bet to be paid off in sexual favors or play a board game naked in bed and agree that the loser has to grant the winner one lusty request.

When it comes to pleasing their lady, every man wishes he had ESP (extrasexual perception). But the truth is, your libidinous longings can be baffling. That's why a guy loves it when you're able to guide him without barking out orders.

So when giving erotic instruction, throw in some positive reinforcement. Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of a technique that always gets you off. If he's not giving you enough foreplay, ask him to use his hand or mouth to warm you up, saying that you want to draw out the experience.

For men, what they see is almost as good as what they get, so make sure to give him an eyeful. "One time during sex, my wife led me over to a mirror so we could see ourselves in action," remembers Bob, 31. "I found it really sexy, but what made it hotter was how into it she was."

Another way to turn him on with sight: Keep some clothes on. Sometimes men prefer when you leave a little to the imagination. "Sexy lingerie can be as arousing — or more so — as being nude, because it builds anticipation," says Bob Berkowitz, PhD, coauthor of When Men Stop Having Sex.

More great views: you in girl-on-top position or, if you're feeling brave, let your hands roam over your body the next time you're in bed in front of him.

Even if you're a bad girl at heart, you might hold back with your guy. "Women are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don't want to shatter any 'good girlfriend' image he has or they don't want him to think they're weird," says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "But men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you — they just don't want to offend you by asking for it."

What dirty-girl tricks fit the bill? Pretty much anything that shows him how much you like sex and how much you want it with him. To let him know how much you're into him, grab his butt hard when he's climaxing or gently nip his shoulder.

You may also want to do something unexpected, like initiating a new position or trying a passion prop. "My wife and I were out shopping when she suggested we check out this sex-toy shop," John, 27, says. "We ended up buying this thing called a penis sleeve, which is basically a thick, bumpy condom. Not only was it fun to use, but I loved how eager she was to try it."

To separate yourself from any experiences your guy might have had in the past with others, you may need to pull a move so wild, he won't be able to stop thinking about it the next day. "If you've mastered one particular technique that's really hot and different, the entire erotic experience will stand out in his mind," explains psychologist Joel Block, PhD, author of The Art of the Quickie.

Now, you don't have to bust out a complicated trick best used by yoga instructors — just tweak an old standby, say, switching between oral sex and intercourse...with him blindfolded.

You may also want to come up with your own signature mouth move. "When my wife goes down on me, she takes her time exploring the whole area with her tongue," remembers Peter, 32. "And she does cool stuff with it, like alternating between using the flat part and then covering the same territory with just the tip. It's an entirely different sensation!"

Repetition can make things boring. So be open to varying things in bed. Any change in speed, pressure, or position will make the act more interesting and pleasurable. Variety keeps him in a heightened state of arousal because he never knows what to expect.

During foreplay, wrap your fist around his member (with lube!), moving it up and down with long, smooth strokes. Then add your other hand, and gently twist both hands in opposing directions. When you get to intercourse, start off slowly in missionary. Next, rest your feet on his shoulders for deeper thrusting. Finally, roll over, and let him enter you from behind.

"You'll win big sexual points with your man if you spring sex on him out of the blue," says Gardos. "It gives him a huge ego boost by reinforcing the fact that you're really hot for him."

For a spontaneous seduction, ask him to pull over to a deserted spot for a roadside romp when you're driving home one night. Or at a party, take him into a back bedroom or closet. Joe, 28, remembers a naughty surprise attack at a black-tie affair. "My wife and I were sitting down at dinner, and she slid her hand under the table and began to pleasure me — right in the middle of the meal! It was so spontaneous and unexpected. I could barely sit still”.

The best way to bring out the sexy beast in your guy? Initiate some take-me-I'm-yours action. "He'd love to be raw and animalistic with you, but he needs to know you want it too," says Brame. "Kiss him seductively and then pull away, saying that if he wants more, he can come and get it." During the act, you can also tell him "harder" or "faster" if you feel like he's handling you with kid gloves.

Dave, 32, was totally psyched when his wife asked to be ravaged. "She lay down on the bed and begged me to rip off her clothes, which I did. The sex was great, but letting me tear her shirt in half was the best part because it was passionate and intense."

On the flip side, occasionally men prefer it when you take over. Lying back while his lady has her way with him is an ultimate guy fantasy.

Just ask Brian, 26: "My wife is sort of a bookworm. But when we got into bed for the first time, she was wild. Before I could even try to take off her clothes, she threw me back on the bed and blindfolded me with her bra," he remembers. "Then she gave me the best oral sex ever. I didn't have to lift a finger."

For a softer approach, Brame suggests treating him to all lover titillation: Have him lie on the bed naked. Then, starting at one foot, kiss and lick your way up his leg and along the crease where his thigh meets his torso. Next, move to his side, up to his neck, and down to the main event. When you're ready to get it on, treat him to reverse-cowgirl so he can't help you, even if he wants to. Trust us: The payback will be awesome.

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