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Part 1: Ladies

Women send me messages asking about ideas for a hot steamy night with their husbands, and I must admit it’s something I actually enjoy doing. In a society where songs are talking about getting drunk and sliding panties to the side because there’s no time to take them off, it’s apparent that the true art of seduction has been tossed out the window along with chivalry. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for frenzied impatient sex. However, when a husband or wife wants to take the time to thoroughly prep their spouse for a mind-blowing encounter, I’m all in! I get completely caught up in the devising of plans, from serving dinner in a short trench coat with nothing else on but red bottoms, to blindfolding him while he licks things off parts of your body he has to figure out. Yeah, I can get pretty carried away…..until I hear those dreaded words that kill the entire fantasy: “OMG I can’t do that! I’m not bold enough….”. Wait WHAT??? So what exactly are we doing here?? And if lack of confidence can kill MY buzz so quickly, imagine what it’s doing to YOUR sex life with your man?!

After mulling this situation over in my head, I realized that it’s not always a lack of confidence that’s the problem. Many of you have high levels of confidence, yet when the candles are lit and the door is locked you’re as quiet and shy as a mouse. What’s that all about? Firstly, we tend to put a whole lot of pressure on ourselves to live up to the sexy personas we see on TV and read about in romance novels. Secondly, we are afraid of feeling and looking silly in the bedroom, and this fear sometimes turns into pride. Let’s face it, we can be big and bad when we’re out in the world, but some of our deepest most vulnerable fears can be brought to light in the bedroom with the man we truly love. This is where we are truly naked in more ways than one. Hence, we put up a protective shield.
How do we get pass this?? In all honesty there is no quick easy fix, simply because the key lies within our minds. Here is a revelation: More often than not, when we think we look silly, in that very moment our man is thinking we’re the hottest thing on the planet. For instance, some of us have been blessed with ample bosoms that tend to have a mind of their own when we let them loose in the bedroom, especially when we’re…..ahem, on our backs (yes I just went there). With all the “bouncing around” we tend to become self-conscious and try to cover them or hold them in place. Little do we know, lots of men actually become more excited by this rambunctious display, and prefer that we just let the girls be! Some will even go as far as moving our hands out of the way.
So What should we do?

The trick is to see yourself through his eyes. You may feel as if your tummy is too big for the lingerie you’re wearing, but if he expresses to you that you look extremely sexy in it and it’s his favorite, WEAR IT! You may think that scar on your left thigh is the ugliest thing you have ever seen when it’s probably the very last thing on his mind….if it is at all. U may feel silly wearing that trench coat and those red bottoms with nothing on underneath because you’ve never done it before, but I guarantee you, “silly” is the farthest adjective from his mind. You may think you’re going to sound crazy if you moan like that, or look stupid if you make that face or he’ll be offended if you say "faster!", when in actuality, watching you lose yourself in passion for him is the sexiest gift you can ever give. To him, in that moment, you’re the sexiest woman alive. Allow yourself to be lost in your man’s fantasy and bring it to life. YOU know how sexy looks. Arch your back, sway your hips and give him a wink before you proceed to give him the best night of his life!

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